Heather Chavez on Carnivorous Plants, Assassin Mothers, and Getting Your Hands Dirty
What inspired you to write Before She Finds Me?
HC: I was moving my daughter into college, so of course my brain tortured me with all of these worst-case scenarios, especially given the current state of our world. That was how Julia, and that first scene, came to me, though the premise was far from fully formed. Then months later, I was talking with a colleague who happened to be pregnant and have a partner who clones carnivorous plants. Suddenly, it all clicked into place—the character of Ren, her fascination with Julia, and the general shape of the plot. (I feel compelled to add that my colleague is a very nice person and has never poisoned anyone, as far as I’m aware.)
Which character was easiest to write—Ren or Julia? Do you relate to one more?
HC: Not being a pregnant assassin, I definitely relate more to Julia. I feel like her experience mirrors my own but multiplied by a thousand. While I had a hard time dropping my kids off at college, for instance, Julia’s experience was the nightmare—the manifestation of all the fears I had about what might go wrong. Still, though I identified more with Julia, Ren was easier to write. There was less second-guessing: “Oh, Ren would never do that.” Because yes, Ren would.
What do you love about thrillers?
HC: My background is in journalism, where objectivity is key. But I’ve always been most interested in the why—how could someone commit an act so horrible, often involving people they claim to care about? What were they thinking at the time? Thrillers allow us access to that why that we don’t have in real life. It allows us behind a neighbor’s door, and inside a loved one’s head. As a reader, there’s something cathartic about engaging in these high-stakes struggles from a safe distance—and as a writer, it’s gratifying to be able to control how the story ends.
How do your experiences as a mother shape your novels?
HC: Being a mom makes me even more aware of the dangers out there in our world, but it also reaffirms the strength and kindness of so many of the people in it, like my children. I’ve written three novels, and at the core of each is a “what if” question that originated with an interaction with my kids. And my protagonists often struggle with questions that, I think, are pretty universal to moms—how do we balance it all? How do we maintain an honest and authentic relationship with our kids while also protecting them? And, when it’s time, how do we let them go, while still providing them a safe space to land if they need it?
What kind of research did you do to write Before She Finds Me?
HC: There’s nothing like writing a novel inhabited by smart characters to make you realize how little you know, though at least I am smart enough to ask for help when I need it. And I do that a lot. Of course, I google incessantly, and read a lot. I have an alarming number of books on poisons. But nothing beats talking with an expert, whether that be a colleague’s partner who clones carnivorous plants, a botany professor kind enough to take me on a greenhouse tour, or a retired police lieutenant who helps me get it right when law enforcement is involved.
What do you hope readers will take away from the novel?
HC: I hope readers are entertained, of course, and maybe need an extra cup of coffee the morning after finishing it. But I also hope it resonates on a deeper level—that it makes people think about how their own relationships shape their choices, and, as Ren might ask, what it means to live a good life, especially in a world with so much senseless violence and trauma in it.
Discover the Book
Julia Bennett has worked hard to create a stable life for her daughter, Cora, in Southern California. So when Cora leaves for college, the worst thing Julia expects on move-in day is an argument with her ex-husband and his new wife. But a sudden attack leaves the campus stunned—and only Julia’s quick actions save Cora’s life. Shaken in the aftermath, and haunted by a dark secret, Julia starts to wonder: What if the attack wasn’t as random as everyone believes?
Newly pregnant Ren Petrovic has an unusual career—she’s a trained assassin, operating under a strict moral code. Ren wasn’t on campus that day, but she knows who was: her husband, Nolan. What she doesn’t know is why Nolan has broken their rules by not telling her about the job in advance. The more Ren looks into the attack, the more she begins to question: Who really hired Nolan? And why did one woman in the crowd respond so differently from all the rest?
Julia and Ren each want answers, but their searches quickly pit them against each other. One woman is a hired killer, but the other is a determined survivor. And both mothers will defend their families to the bitter end.
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