3 Pitfalls For Females in the Modern World: People-Pleasing, Emotional Abuse, and Social Media 

As a former high school librarian, the parent of two daughters, and a person who speaks with teens across the country, I see young women struggling every day. While each person has an individualized experience, in the past three years I could see patterns emerging; three major issues surfacing across race, age, and socioeconomic status. 

Every author writes a book for a reason, and I’ve always strived to represent what its like to be a female moving through the world today. When I realized I had an opportunity to take these issues and personify them, then wrap them in a mystery, I knew I had a chance to write something that would be both compelling and meaningful.

Perfectionism is a trait I often see in young people. I’ve met so many teenagers that will drive themselves into the ground in order to be the best, get ahead, and come out on top. However, women and young girls have to balance this drive with a learned behavior that society has pressed upon them—people-pleasing. Coming out on top can tear a person in half if they’re worried they may have angered or hurt the feelings of those who didn’t, an issue that Fallon in How Girls Are Made has to navigate.

Emotional abuse is hard to see, and even harder to escape from. Physical abuse leaves marks and is a prosecutable offense; emotional abuse does damage mentally and emotionally, and those who suffer from it often remain silent not because they believe they deserve it, but because they don’t even know it’s happening to them. It’s easy to be pulled into a relationship that at first feels perfect—but once it starts to slip, a victim will do anything to gain back the affections of their abuser. Even the toughest people—like Shelby, a mixed martial artist—can fall into this trap.

Impossible beauty standards and the constant presence of images showing what they should look like—usually catering to the male gaze—can drive women of all ages to feelings of inadequacy. Plastic surgery among teens is on the rise as girls chase whatever look is hot at the moment—from a lip flip (now out of style) to a BBL (which carries the highest risk of mortality)—females are dying to achieve the look of a filter in real life, sometimes literally. With the rise of AI, this problem is only going to get worse and lead many to despair, which Jobie discovers in How Girls Are Made. Each of these girls is on a downward trajectory and one of them will die as a result. 

I’ve written about sexual assault, addiction, and mental illness. Writing about societal issues for teens means that I’ve been banned and challenged, but it also means that I often have teens come up to me crying, asking for help, or thanking me after I speak. How Girls Are Made will be no different, and I look forward to once again shining a light into dark spaces.

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